The Chick-tionary

After reading a comment, saying that my blog isn't as interesting or funny, i'm posting this. I decided to put something that I think will better Mankind.

Gentlemen, I give you passages from the Chick-tionary:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, ripping out your guts and serving them to you on a baguette (bagel will work if baguette is not available). 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

*alright, giggity, giggity, giggity*

Shameless Promotion

My parents are selling a timeshare on ebay. If someone buys it I make a commission and i'm very poor.

Its the 3rd week in April, Provincetown, Mass. It's right on the beach, pool, hot tub, located a few minutes from town. Check it out and if you or someone want to buy it lemmie know.

Take a look here

Mall Rats

A new happier version of an Old Post.

Nick and Trish are visiting from Florida so i've spent almost every day with them. Which was really nice to see them and catch up on things. Friday was work then service. Night was all the sushi I could consume ( and let me tell you its a lot). Then went to Perks and Quirks hung out with some acquaintances and friends. Andrew Spats was playing hes wicked awesome. And for his second set I went home and busted out my Djemba and tambourine and played the second set with him. It was so much fun. We played beatles, neil diamond, Bob Dylan and other stuff I didnt even know. People clapped and I made $5 bucks in tips (alright giggity giggity) I may play again next wednesday, hopefully I can start playing out with peeps again, I miss that.

Saturday, Mall Rated it. Went to PP mall and D & B is the devil. Ok its 1 oclock in the afternoon on a saturday, I nor anyone with me had any intention of getting drunk so why cant I come into your establishment to play video games? Thats what I thought. So I had a plan to get someone over 25 to bring me in, after 20 min and failed attempts, I gave up and we left. Went to Fluffs and watched Black Hawk down.
(tv version of course). Home now, and just got my new battery for the phone. The cat pee phone is almost up and running. Battery was just shot from all the acid's lol. I bleached and Febrezed it, it smells quite good. And a new cherry cover, makes it complete.

If you thought peeing your pants wasn't cool..

Oi Dios Mio

Its been a very fun weekend. I got to go visit Walkill on Friday. Which was excellent because ive never been there. Went with meghan, klee, and asha-lawfawnduh-shaniqua-destiny-jamila. Brian Mcbrian gave us the tour. And I kept seeing guys I knew or that I thought I know, which is always fun. Then we hung out in Brians room and he got a hair cut, which looked very good I might add. And then some rednecks showed up and talked about there hunting skills, (noone was impressed).

Saturday slept to an early Noon. Hung around cleaned, then headed up to Olley's for Autumn Fest, although Autumn wasnt there so, Im not sure of the name. It was fun we were on the beach with a fire. That's when things got out of control. Me and Fluff went on a secret mission, to pick up someone. Before we left I went to get my purse to see if i missed any calls. I picked it up and noticed my phone was off. Which is weird, because I NEVER turn off my phone, not even in Hospitals (i aint scared of no DR.) Then I noticed that my phone was WET and SMELLED. So i took the battery out and let it sit on a vent while we picked up Mystery Guest. But picking up the mysery guest wasnt the important part of the story. I find out later from Olley, my worse fears. Olley's Cat's Tag-teamed it and pee'd on my purse. Not only was my purse soaked and smelled like an @$$ but, my phone had this mystery liquid on it. So now my phone shorted out and doesnt work. It makes for a good story, but not really cause im so irritated right now. On a good note the nice lady from verizon transfered my loaner phone over for free (usually $20). Because she said I had a very good story (so mad at her).
Oh well, thers always ebay I guess.

~Jk out~

Oh the mystery guest was Brain McBrian, but i didnt think that was as interesting as cats tagging my purse.

Tee Hee Hee

Good evenin'

Feels like sucha long weekend, although I didnt do very much. Work and service on friday then went to k to the lees and watched a movie. Sisterhood of the traveling pants, or i titled it (pants). I heard the books better but who reads those things. I give the movie 8 out of 10 fingers up.

Saturday slept super late. Boys came over for band practice. Got a new song down, sounds good. If we ever finish it ill post it. Then went to Beakers for a bawn fire. Why do they call it bawn fire? If you know please tell me. Hawkins had a sip of mikes and was acting very silly. And Loco Stephanie and her crew were on the tramp, and playing DDR which was funny. Oh and the highlight of the evening was watching foolish boys walking on a door that was on fire. No one was burned, (darn). Then me , klee and the noho girls went on the tramp, where someone who will remain nameless pee'd a little. I cant help it i had a lot of water. haha

Tomorrows spanish meeting and hopefully working on cleaning my room a little bit, (yeah right). Cause im a wishful thinker with the best intentions