The Chick-tionary

After reading a comment, saying that my blog isn't as interesting or funny, i'm posting this. I decided to put something that I think will better Mankind.

Gentlemen, I give you passages from the Chick-tionary:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, ripping out your guts and serving them to you on a baguette (bagel will work if baguette is not available). 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

*alright, giggity, giggity, giggity*